|oh how i miss the days...
||[Feb. 8th, 2014|03:53 pm]
of living alone.
seriously. i thought it was common knowledge that if you have roomates,
keep the common areas clean. don't leave your shit everywhere. don't leave
a sink full of dirty dishes. don't slam the drawers and doors at 6:30 in
the muthafuckin morning. you have other housemates that do not get up
that early. learn to contain your shit... if you don't use it, haven't worn it in forever
just donate it and get rid of it. the fact that you have 4/5 of the house storage
and still trying to take up more is fucking ridiculous. you are grown adults
and as such should not have to be told this. >.< .
|it's days like this...
||[Jan. 10th, 2014|07:20 pm]
that remind me of why i was against marriage for so long.|
if you want to continue living the solitary life, where you
don't give a damn about what others want, then maybe you
should have thought about that before saying "i do."
just because your job is pissing you off, does not give you the
right to be an asshole to me. do you forget who picks you
up everyday? takes when the weather is extra cold? fixes you
dinner? does your laundry and folds it and puts it away?
does the shopping? i may just be a housewife for now, but
someday i won't even be that if you keep thinking you are
||[Dec. 19th, 2013|01:03 pm]
could you maybe give this family more than 2 years in between family deaths at this time of year?|
it's frustrating when you know someone is going to pass and leave another scar on this time of year.
sure, this is the season for love and remembrance... but it has become the season of loss for this
family. this time it may happen just before she gets to arrive to see her father one last time.
i hope he hangs on long enough, so that means you gotta give him 9 more days.
so that's my Christmas wish... that she gets the chance to say goodbye properly.
*ETA - i asked for too much. ugh. the holidays hate this family. =(
|oh look, another update w/ less ranting
||[Oct. 26th, 2013|08:13 pm]
first and foremost, it is very nice to see some of you posting here again.|
i wish more would come back and post bigger updates about their lives.
i miss my friends and the interactions with them. i miss reading the stories
of their lives. while FB gives us blurbs and peeks, it is no updating machine.
oh to the update...
things have mellowed out here. the sister in law in the house has finally
realized she is not the ruling monarch of the house. thank goodness.
i get that she has lived here for awhile, BUT it is the mom in laws house
and we all are just renters. we each married into this family and will
have to learn to get along whether we really like each other as people or not.
things with Marc and i are good. there's been hiccups and adjusting, as is
normal with any relationship/marriage/living with someone, but for the most
part it has all been minor stuff. it's not like we thought everything would
be perfect from the get go, thankfully we both have always had our eyes open.
we crossed the border and back again today without any issues!! this is the
first time in years that i haven't had to go inside the big building and
explain our whole story to a border agent. AND i made it to Lewiston, NY and
back home without asking for directions or getting lost! another first.
i don't get lost often, but with Marc not being a driver himself he is not
the best navigator. i find that instead of using google maps, using google
aerial view and mapping it myself is much easier. i can actually see where
to turn. g maps likes to send me on the round about toll bridges way. no
thanks! i don't mind tolls, they have their purpose, but if i can get there
without a toll road or bridge... i will.
met with the lawyer a couple weeks ago. lots of paperwork to fill out.
i hope all this goes somewhat quickly, but part of me thinks the he is
trying to milk us for money. he sent an email awhile back telling us what we
needed. so i take the things in and he says "well you need more pics of the
wedding. and fbi background check, a medical check out from a Canadian doc..."
and so on. i told him i was a bit miffed and that i would have brought
what we really needed had he not been so vague about things in the damn email.
he wasn't pleased with that. but then his culture isn't used to the women
back talking and standing up for themselves. yeah, i don't like him much.
so there ya go. i better go check on my other half. he's been sickly with
a cold and has decided that working 6 days a week would help that.
now it's your turn to update. GET TO IT!
|i should probably update...
||[Sep. 22nd, 2013|10:24 am]
|||||the goddamned washing machine||]|
left Seattle on August 28th and arrived in Brampton, ON on September 6th. was a long and very sunny trip driving out here, but we made it in one piece. saw lots of great road signs. didn't stop to look at much. since i was the only driver, it made the trip longer than it should have been. stayed in small towns and mostly Motel 6, which kept the cost down. i don't think we paid over $65 for any room. had lots of good food. we tried to do local places for the most part, unless we got into a town late and the only option was McD's.
so now i am here. settling in is taking a bit, but that was to be expected. dealing with people who don't have a clue what common courtesy is is a whole other thing. thankfully it is not just me that notices this about this person. (it is not Marc btw, who could not be a better person for me.) this person interrupts my sleep, our quiet time during movies, doesn't give us any kitchen space and when i asked if i could do her laundry during the day when everyone was gone i got "but it is cheaper to do laundry at night". she only does laundry at night a couple times a week, but it is still something i could do during the day and keep the laundry moving so as not to hamper others from doing their laundry and also she doesn't pay the damn utility bill, so her whole argument is invalid. Marc and i are buying a small fridge and a pantry for the basement and Aunt Bonnie is giving us a microwave. so we will have our own little set up and not have to worry about our groceries getting used and actually having space to put stuff. i am rambling and ranting... sorry.
getting used to driving around here. people like to tailgate and not use their blinkers and cut across 2 or more lanes to get to the turn lane they need, but other than that... yeah, my finger has gotten a work out. but other than those things people drive meh up here.
Tim Horton's... i am thankful for Timmy's every day. almost as thankful as i am for Marc. ;)
think that is about it for now.. gotta wait for the noise makers to leave to i can nap. been up since 6:30am so i could take Marc to work for some o.t. will be venting again soon i am sure. =P
hoping all is well in your world and for those of you that are going through some yuck right now, just know you are in my thoughts and i hope everything and everyone finds peace soon. <3
|Where to start...
||[Jul. 14th, 2013|11:47 pm]
Well the ball is finally rolling with the lawyer and very soon|
the wheels will be rolling on my car. August 24th Marc will be
here in Seattle and a few days after that we will be heading
East to Brampton, ON soon after that. i finally get to make
it to my new home. sure, leaving my friends behind will be
hard, but i finally get to be settled in my life with the man
i love. i am very grateful for that.
not sure on the path we are taking to get to Brampton yet.
we can either take Hwy 2 across Canada of I-90 across the States.
hard decisions. i also need to decide on a place where we
are going to stay for 2 nights to take a break from driving
and just get a good stretch out for 24 hours. mom suggested
finding a place close to a bar so we can just chill a bit.
Marc agrees. =)
and then there is the purging of things i don't need and
things i want with me now up there. hopefully next year
we will be able to come out and pick up the rest of my stuff
and my hope chest. the hope chest has to eventually be with
me as i built it and one day plan on passing it to my daughter
or son if i am lucky enough to have one. keeping my fingers
crossed on that one.
so that's about it for now. will leave a note when we actually
leave and one when we arrive home in Brampton. =)
|Canadian Penny in My Hand
||[Feb. 23rd, 2013|05:19 am]
|||||Snow Patrol - In the End||]|
Canadian penny in my hand
Canadian man in my heart
today, tomorrow, yesterday to start.
Canadian man in my heart
Canadian penny in my hand
|thinking...it does no good...
||[Jan. 9th, 2013|08:31 pm]
i need to stop second guessing myself.|
i need to stop wondering if i made the right decision.
someday i won't be a bother to anyone and things will
be better then.
||[Dec. 24th, 2012|07:20 am]
figured i would do this now, as tomorrow i won't|
be around a computer much.
so far this trip has been ok. with Christmas done
tomorrow, it will be time to relax, enjoy my birthday
and then enjoy New Years!
today is the finish up things and baking. part of the
family tonight and the better part of the family tomorrow.
i look forward to both, but mostly tomorrow. i get to
see all my favs tomorrow =)
i hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and New Years.
may this next year bring all of us brighter times, better
laughs and lots of good lovin'. <3
|oh Holiday Season...
||[Dec. 12th, 2012|09:06 pm]
this year is actually going to be a good one.|
not that others haven't been good, but this
is the first that Marc and i get to spend
together. our first since we have been together
and our first as husband and wife. first time
we will be each others New Year's kiss even.
i know that seems odd to some people, but this
is the road this life has taken us down.
Friday i hop on a plane to Brampton, ON
and i will return mid January. my longest trip
and second most special, the wedding being #1.
it's awesome that his mom and sister love Christmas
as much as i do, will make it easier i think. not
that his family is hard to get along with, just
holidays always put extra stress on people.
there is also the added bonus of getting to give
gifts as a couple. it's one of those moments
that makes you feel more oneness with someone
i think. i dunno, maybe it is just me.
i will try to remember to update while there.
gotta keep my memories somewhere.
i hope your holidays are bright and beautiful. <3
||[Oct. 16th, 2012|11:10 pm]
as a woman, choice is important to me.
i should be the one deciding what happens
or doesn't happen to my body. not some
i should not be forced to live a life
based on someone else's beliefs or
religion. i should have the choice
to take birth control if i want,
have an abortion if it is what is
right for me and believe (or not)
in any god i choose. the options
should be there for all of us.
if you don't want birth control,
you have the choice not to take
it. you have the choice to have
a religion if you so choose.
all i am asking is for other women
to have some common sense and respect
for themselves and the coming generations
of girls. don't shuffle us back decades.
women have come to far and fought to
long to have choices.
when you vote, you are not voting for
just yourself... you are voting for all of us.
i am voting so we all still have choices.
||[Sep. 24th, 2012|11:10 pm]
Marc and I celebrated 6 years last week.|
hard to wrap my head around that... even
though we are married now. it sucks being
away from him. have been in off mode for
2 weeks now. i don't like feeling depressed
like this and it usually isn't this bad.
everything's different this time around though.
Christmas can't get here soon enough.
appointment with the neuro this week. phone
calls to get the meds sent, a visit to dshs
which is always just a joy *eye roll* and
a visit to social security for copies of
my award letter... one for the meds and one
for the lawyer in Canada. then there is the
changing of the last name. i have the marriage
certificate so it should be that difficult to
get everything changed over, just somethings
they are gonna charge me for. license and passport.
let's see... anything else worth making note of..
brain says no.
hope you all are doing well and ya know, you
should post once in awhile.
|'til death do us part...
||[Aug. 27th, 2012|08:51 pm]
As of Saturday August 25, 2012 i am now a married woman.
had an amazing wedding that was way more than i expected
thanks to Marc's mom and sister. about 50 people in the
back yard of his mom's. white tulle with black tulle bows
draped the fence.. his niece, Caelyn, was our flower girl,
niece Jamie maid of honor and sister, Aileen was the matron
of honor. my mom walked me down the isle, she was my only guest.
(it being in Canada, i knew no one could make it and i am ok with that)
of course she started crying not even half way down and that
made me start crying. started laughing and told her to stop
it.. she told me to stop it. pffft. thankfully it was a short
walk and i was soon holding Marc's hands. our minister was great.
seems our make-up artist, who knows Marc's family, had suggested
and didn't know that his mom had already found and hired her.
so when the Minister walked in it was a nice little reunion and
"oh this is who i was talking about" and everything.
so anyways.. get up there, did our vows...
I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.
it's a wonderful sensation reciting those vows ans having
the world fall away and it is just the two of us. there was
nothing but his beautiful face and smile. just awesome.
a week before the wedding the forecast called for mild
and 73 degrees... we got full sunshine and 90+. to say
i was melting and everyone else was too, is an understatement.
we headed to a park for pictures. lots of flowers an
greenery and an awesome wooden bridge. Marc's cousin Tori
took the photos.. 1400 throughout the whole wedding, and
they turned out very beautiful. she has posted a few and
flipped a few in black and white... just amazing. she got
a few of my mom and i that are truly precious. and of course
the ones of me and Marc that i have seen are wonderful.
reception was beautiful. dark purple and teal blue linens
with a three piece vase set for center pieces. the two small
vases had clear and teal glass stones, the single tall vase
clear and dark purple and black glass stones w/ a large dark
purple flower and two really sparklie butterflies one silver
and one teal. they were very pretty. and then we said.. let
there be drinking and it was so! ok there was food served
before the major drinking and laughs with the family and friends.
roast beef, chicken, roasted potatoes, green beans and carrots, rolls,
salad, naniamo(?) bars for the dessert and of course the wedding cake.
lemon top (that is now in the freezer) and a bottom of key-lime cake.
can we just say it was really fucking yummeh. mmmmm. and then the
drinking and talking and laughing and making jokes. yeah a very,
very fun reception.
i head back to Seattle on the 11th. really going to be hard
to leave my new husband, but i know that if i do the sooner
i can move up here. hopefully 6-8 months tops and i will be
back up here for Christmas/bday/New Years. can't wait!
so there you go.. the just of the wedding day.
now it is time for sleeping.
|last day in Seattle as a "single" girl.
||[Aug. 17th, 2012|06:16 pm]
i leave tomorrow morning at 6am for Buffalo, NY and|
then a short drive across the border and to Brampton, ON
and my better half.
Marc's family has taken care of everything on that side.
they are truly a wonderful group of people that i am thankful
i get to call family. since he is the last kid to get
married, they had no issues with knowing what was needed
and what needed to be done. though, i would have been
just as happy going to the justice of the peace... the
government has their own wants.
i am all set on my end. packed up and ready to go.
just waiting on mom to get here stuff together. hopefully
she can put a Christmas item in her bag for Marc's Mom.
it's an awesome Santa.
so after the 25th it will be the long 6 month wait for
papers to move up there. we've waited 6 years, so whats
another 6 months, right? well you never know when the
government or the world will implode up themselves
and leave me on the wrong side. i know, i should be
in a more positive frame of mind... but Murphy always
has a way of fucking things up.
i am trying my best to stay on an even keel and i think
i have done ok so far. no ones bloodied or lying in a ditch.
the only person to work my last nerve is Mom. she is a
procrastinator in the worst possible way. she still has
to pack and we leave for the airport in 10 hours. mmhmm
figured i'd vent here before i unloaded on the wrong person.
||[Jul. 27th, 2012|10:46 pm]
that is all the time left between now and the wedding.
i so can't wait. i have everything i need except for
the hair comb to hold the cage veil. hope i can find
something suitable soon.
Marc's mom and sister have been soooo awesome. they
have almost everything planned and done on the Canadian
side. i hope i am able to pay them back someday.
i feel so lucky to have the chance to be a part of
his family. they are amazing people. and while
my one and only guest will be my mom, i get to meet
the rest of my new family. i have met about a quarter
of the extended family already and of course they
are nifty too.
health wise i am doing good. had a new MRI last month
and it showed that there are no new lesions and that
the old ones are less active. i am only taking the
Gilenya now. the doc and i both thought it was pointless
for me to keep taking the gabapentin, keppra, trazadone
or tramadol since none of them helped my hands feel
any better. he did sign off on me getting my green card
though. so after all the wedding stuff is done and i am
back state side in mid September i will be looking for
a dispencary somewhat close to me. there are none in Kent
seeing as how the city council decided to follow federal
law and not state. ah well.
hopefully by this time next year i will be living in
Canada and working on a baby bump. keep your fingers
|you ever get the feeling...
||[Jul. 5th, 2012|06:26 pm]
that even though you have explained something to the same people
at least 3-4 times, they just aren't listening to you?
my daily life.
listen and reading skills people. fucking use them.
pay attention. >.< ...
||[Feb. 28th, 2012|04:39 pm]
i has it! lawyer's office just called to let me know the judge
cancelled the hearing tomorrow. i should be receiving benefits
in 4-6 weeks and a confirmation letter on his ruling in a week
all i can say is i am so relieved. took almost 2 years.. that's
almost 2 years of extra stress on my mom, me and the
rest of my family. i will be able to pay mom back part of
what i owe her and get my credit back on track. i have
roughly 6 months to fix it before i move.
ok that is my good news for the day.
oh i did finally hear back from that old bff that walked out
of my life for no reason... apparently he walked out on
everyone from back home. eh, whatever. excuses are
|update to help the sleepless mind
||[Feb. 25th, 2012|11:58 pm]
so Feb. 1st we had to let Boze go. she was miserable and we
didn't want her to suffer anymore. when we said let's go, she jumped
righ off the couch and perked up all happy. she knew was going
to a better place to be pain free. it sucks not having her here.
still look before i sit to make sure i miss her feet or go to greet
Uncle Mike didn't let her kiss him much, but i would, she would
sit and lick my arms trying to make them and my hands better.
such a very good dog. i miss her terribly.
so on to other things...
this coming Wednesday i finally go to court to find out IF
i get disability. it has me stressed the fuck out. my sleep
schedule... either i sleep three hours and am up for 20+ or
i sleep for 12-14hrs. seriously this was ok in my 20's, but now
it just messes with everything. what it even better, all my meds
are supposed to help with sleep and help my hands feel better...
yeah not so much. need to call the doc this week and let him
know the meds no workie.
Marc and i are good. just celebrated 2 anniversaries. January
made it 14 years since we first "met" and February made it
6 years since my first trip up there. after Wednesdays decision,
we will be planning my next trip up there and start the planning
for the move to Buffalo. i so can't wait to see my family and
start planning my own.
so that's about it. this has taken an hour to type. fucking hands.
hope all is well with all of you who still read and stuff.
|end of year update and stuff.
||[Dec. 31st, 2011|05:11 pm]
so this wasn't the best year, nor was it the worst year.
most of it was filled with doctor appointments, a couple
hospital stays, new meds that work and the realization
that my hands are never going to be the same. the feel
asleep all the time. it gets so bad that they get really
clumsy and i drop stuff. this is sucktastic to say the least.
so this was the some of the bad for this year.
some of the good for this year...Marc and i have been in a
good place for most of the year. i finally realized that i
have no control over when or how things play out. so i stopped
stressing about the whens and hows and ironically enough things
have gotten so much easier between us. i even got to see him...
over Thanksgiving he came here! that's right he is finally
able to come to the states. he got to meet Anna and Aubree,
which was great. really wish some others would have been there
seeing as how for the last 5 years i have heard "when do we get
to meet him?" so many times from so many people. but i guess it
really wasn't important to them at all. oh well. he and i still
had a great time. visited Brandon and Bruce Lee's graves, Hendrix's
grave and both were really awesome. my family loves him, especially
Wyatt and Waylan. they stuck to him like glue. Waylan was even
in one of his giant shoes trying to walk, so adorable. we have decided
that i will go up there next. i miss my other family up there.
so safe to say this was the very best part of the year.
now for the bad and worst parts. i found out on of my really
good friends, Danelle Gallardo, passed away almost 2 years ago.
it seems it is not clear how yet, as it is still under investigation.
i was crushed and cried for hours. i had known her and been good
friends with her since the 4th grade. she was always open minded
with a free spirit. with her, what you saw was what you got.
a light and a force to be reckoned with. she is missed and
will always be missed by many. i love you Danelle, always.
i did say parts.. meaning two. so the other bad part, finding
out our rottie, Boze, has bone cancer. we just found out this
last week. she went in to the vet for what we thought was a bad
tooth, but no. the bone was spongie so the vet took a biopsy.
we got the results on the 26th. he said she has 2-6 months.
all we can do is spoil her and make her comfortable. she has
had a good long life. outliving all of her siblings. she is
11 and a half. even before now, she has been the reason for me
wanting to work with dogs. especially big dogs that get bad
reps because of bad people. of course i can't do this until
i get disability and get moved. but i am already looking into
places in Buffalo to help out at. so yeah, another loved one
being lost to a nasty disease. cancer is the dirtiest word
in any language.
so that was my year in a nutshell. this coming year will have
lots of change. i find out about disability in February. Marc
and i are already planning Christmas/bday/New Years for up there.
i am going to make sure i am up there before Dec. 21st. just to
be on the safe side that i am there with him if anything decides
to happen on a cataclysmic scale. =P
i hope this year is better for all of us. i hope it brings new
experiences, new friendships, enlightenment, laughter and so
much love that we all burst with happiness.
Happy New Year my friends. =)
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